It's October, and with everyone settling in to new uniforms and routines, school is surely on your mind as much as ever. Last month I wrote about pre-prep; this month, I'll share my thoughts on the journey to prep school, including what you can do as a parent at home to begin preparing your child.
Should you choose to go the independent route, there's a lot of information to sort through, starting with the various stages of school and how to prepare your child for each.
I'll give you my rundown on what to think about when it comes to prep school, starting with the basics: what you can do as a parent at home to prepare your child for this stage in his or her educational journey, and what you need to know when it comes to admissions.
British Independent schools are among the best in the world. Alongside my children, I have traversed their complex terrain for twenty years. Over the course of this time, I have developed lasting relationships with a range of top boarding and day schools.
I have met incredible faculty members; whose passion and commitment helps their students to reach their true potential. Having started at a nursery school twenty-one years ago.
I have helped guide them through pre-prep, prep and secondary school; my children are currently in the post-graduate, undergraduate and IGCSE phases.
I am still involved in the competitive and demanding British academic system.
I can assure you that however difficult you may find your situation, there is always a solution. I hope we can find this solution together as you and your children embark on your academic journey.
On parenthood
Nobody said parenthood was going to be easy, and as you are discovering, there is a new hurdle every which way you turn. At times you can feel like a circus performer; constantly juggling three things at once: our children, our work and our other personal relationships.
The pressure that we heap on ourselves can often become crippling, and I can attest to some very difficult times ahead. The modern mother has become the CEO of the household.
There are no days off as a parent and no holidays. There isn't a PA or junior associate you can pass the work on to.
If you're not on top of things, then no one is. And let's face it; you're not being paid. It is the most testing job you will ever have, and it will demand of you things you never imagined; but if you want to offer the best opportunities to your children, you must take up the challenge.
Our primary job is to prepare our children for the real world. We're not always going to be there to protect them, so they must learn to stand up on their own.
I cannot stress this enough: you must care for your own wellbeing with the same care and affection that you handle that of your children. There is no magic formula, I can recall several missteps that I’ve made, but what’s important is that we grow from mistakes and not dismiss them or be embarrassed by them.
How can we best advise them?
In a child’s formative years, the environment they grow up in becomes very important. Your child is learning with every interaction, and these form the basis of their life experiences, which they draw upon for future reference and decision making.
Be aware, however, that you what you may want for your child may clash with what they want. It is difficult to allow our children to struggle. It's in our nature to want to take on the problem and resolve it.
This is, after all, the same person who cried to be nursed in your arms. However, overcoming their own disappointments, and there will be many, is essential for your child's future. That baby in your arms has become their own person.
In order for them to grow, we must listen to them and nurture their ideas and goals. Children develop at different speeds. I learned this with my eldest child, who was very relaxed about his school life, and he still is as he prepares to move to the US for his post-graduate degree.
I was often left frustrated that he seemed to ignore my advice. I eventually learned to stop telling him what to do and started listening; to trust him and go with his flow as opposed to constantly fighting it.
We all have societal biases about how our children should be at different stages of their lives, but as long as your children are happy, they will flourish. Ultimately, being a good parent means being a good person, having patience, and giving encouragement even when you don’t 100% agree.
Trust your children!
As your children grow, your influence over them becomes less and less. Once you were the great oracle; now their friends make a far greater impact on their views, their choices and their behaviour. I learned that my children’s social lives were as important as their academic ones. They learned from meeting new people and started to come into their own as their confidence grew. This was reflected in all aspects of their lives, including the classroom.
At this time, we, as parents, need to begin to experiment with giving our children more independence; they will be put into situations that will require them to think for themselves, and we must trust that they can develop an intellectual curiosity without getting into trouble.
Prep school and preparing for school
Prep-school does as its name suggests, and it plays a key role in developing our children’s basic social skills. This can be a challenging time for some as it will be the first time that they will be without the watchful eye of a parent, while others that have gained self-confidence at home prior will thrive. From the ages of 8-13 you will notice a huge emotional and physical development.
Our children are tested academically and socially during this period, so our job is to ensure that they are coping and that their wellbeing is intact.
The pressures of social media are also something to consider. Children now have to contend with having to be cool in both the physical and virtual realms. We never had these problems and it is easy to see how children burn out. That being said, the internet is a wonderful place for learning and screen time can often be very productive. New apps are being introduced daily that help children to learn new languages, times tables and everything in between.
A final thought
Happy children will flourish wherever they are.
Kommentare