With the school year well underway and autumn half term already behind us, hopefully your children (and you!) are enjoying the learning journey. As a parent, there's often so much on your plate it can be overwhelming.
There's no need to panic about entrance exams or to place undue expectations on yourself or your children. If you're armed with the right information everyone will be better off, and that's where I can help.
Perhaps it’s clichéd, but the phrase ‘knowledge is power’, and the message it carries, pops up time and again in the conversations I have with my children. This is particularly true when we talk about their academic future, and I admit it’s usually at this point that they roll their eyes and turn their attention elsewhere.
As a parent and the director of an education consultancy, I deeply value the message underlying this truism. When faced with any challenge, having the relevant information, and a sound strategy to boot eliminates fear and anxiety whilst offering the best chance to succeed. Keeping informed and well-briefed, I believe, is the best recipe to help things fall into place.
In this instance, I wish to apply this logic to your child’s schooling and to the whole exam procedure. First, I want to dispense some advice drawn from my own experiences, to better equip you for the exams ahead.
Second, I will provide you with plenty of information required for the exam. Hopefully, this will provide some fresh perspective whilst saving you time and putting you at ease.
Mothers often ask me how things fared during my own children’s academic and exam-taking periods, what hurdles I encountered and what kernels of wisdom I can offer. To be candid, in my earlier years as a parent, I experienced all the angst and apprehension that so many do, simply because I knew very little about these things. The pressure was immense.
As an adult and parent, I felt there was a standard to live up to; that I should have the answers and know the right next step. When I didn’t, I felt judged and, far worse, I feared my child would suffer. It wasn’t always a smooth ride and I certainly made mistakes, but it’s learning from these small setbacks which has eventually given me confidence, with the hope you won’t feel alone, inadequate or judged.
My pitfall, and one that so many mothers encounter, was placing absurd expectations upon my children and myself.
I think this is natural: from the day our child is born to their last day at secondary school and even beyond, we have the deep desire to mould them into a beautiful, well balanced, successful individual.
In whatever endeavour they choose, academically, socially and even in leisure, we yearn for them to excel. Very often, our standards are totally unrealistic.
When we focus on these great expectations, we can be blind to our child’s experiences of growing up and to our own experiences of raising a family, one of the hardest but most rewarding jobs. In my own experience, building networks with like-minded mothers who could share their stories, support and lean on each other, provided a vital learning curve.
Not only did I glean crucial parenting knowledge from these friendly networks, but they validated my own self-worth as a mother, and helped me to develop a sense of pride in my own achievements. In short, I gained the much-needed perspective to take the pressure off my children and off myself.
Entrance Exams
Entrance exams, as opposed to exams that children take as part of their normal schooling, are the area in which over-expectations are felt most acutely, but it is here that parental support is most important. Managing their expectations and ours (which aren’t always the same!) can be hard; failure is often our first thought when optimism is what the doctor orders.
At these times, it is vital to remember that your only goal should be to help them work towards their full potential. This means you being there to offer moral support and gentle guidance, helping them to find the right working balance unique to them. How you should help structure your child’s revision, and how much of their busy social life should be sacrificed, should depend on their own proficiency, goals and character.
Just remember to beware of over-expectation; be empathetic and ultimately help build a positive working environment around them. Ensuring that your child is given ample praise and positive feedback is the best way to encourage them to try their hardest. Give them reassuring guidance, and don’t allow their grades to define their lives, or to define your own success as a parent.
One further piece of advice: please don’t worry what other parents are doing — it isn’t a competition and children mature at different times. With the right care, everything works out eventually. Turning to the entrance exams themselves, the tests are always formulaic, and the pathway to top grades, however daunting, is often clear.
Most school websites will confirm the academic standards that they are expecting from your child. I’ve found it helpful to create a menu of topics per subject, ticking off/highlighting areas as and when my child grasped a concept.
Research material can be found on-line or at your local book store. If you are still unsure, please contact me or ask your current school to steer you in the right direction.
Remember, knowledge is power: staying informed is the best rule for you and your child moving forward!
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